Or should this post be shared over something a little stronger, passionfruit vodka anyone? But since it's only mid-afternoon I think I'l settle on one of those chocolate chip cookie dough latte's (with caramel sauce for the hell of it). So many ideas and possibilities swimming around in my head. I haven't posted a post like this in a long while and it's long overdue that I spilled what's happening in my brain onto a page, a web page albeit. In all honesty I think I'm having a bout of realism that I'm 21 and a little undecided about what direction I want to take my life in (
and lets be real, I don't think an 18 year old, even an 18 year old with her head screwed on, is in the position to make such big choices towards in high school).
I finished studying Interior Design in July (which literally feels like yesterday) and I've been having trouble finding a job centred around one of my biggest passions. I feel like I have the skills to go out and practice but living in a smallish city a vast majority of the Interior Designers are independent. Which sucks for someone wanting that all important experience and confidence. Don't get me wrong I don't think studying something quite niche was a bad thing, but probably one of my most bold and passionate moves, but I currently don't feel confident enough to go out on a limb in the Interior Design field. Cue my splash into web / graphic design.
So my little Etsy shop The Love Crush Studio surprised me in one of the best ways, clients! In all honesty I opened it on a whim back on the 26th January and didn't expect anything to come of it. I've been lucky enough to sell not only pre made designs but go out and custom design for some fantastic ladies. I never thought I'd sell or design any custom work, but getting to work with clients on multiple projects has given me the confidence boost that I think I needed. I'm 90% self taught, and getting to a level where other people would hire you to design is mind blowing enough to the girl who taught herself HTML and CSS on Tumblr while procrastinating for her 5th form NCEA exams, but mind blowing to my 21 year old self. Launching an online shop and designing from my bedroom in the New Zealand country side was an unexpected decision and one I'm so proud of and grateful for.
So where to now? I've been thinking and as much as I don't want to add another $18,000 + to my current student loan, I think I'm in the right place to go back and study towards either a Diploma or Bachelors in web / graphic design. The idea of having an even bigger student loan is frightening, but learning about something I'm so passionate about makes it so worth it. To have a career in the design field is my goal, be it interior, web or graphic and studying further will put me in a much better position to get there.
I'm terrified of being perceived as someone who doesn't know what they want, but choosing to go back and learn more about something I'm passionate seems like the right choice
to me right now.